The Jungle

Seth Meyers’ show is like when you’re standing alone at the party holding your solo cup, and the awkward guy comes up to you and chats you up and you have to be polite for 5 minutes

Friend: You wanna watch a Ted talk?
Me: Yeah man! How about his final one before the execution. It's a classic.
Friend: What?
Me: Ted talk. Like...interview? With Bundy? ...Right?
Friend: .......Right. I was thinking maybe the one about how to achieve happiness..but..but that ones good too I guess.
drake & josh
season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans


I’m not racist but [throws a dart at a map] lithuanians don’t know shit about [spins a big wheel] creating lasting memories during early childhood?



what is the secret of your powerrrrrr


*tipsily moans and sways to David Bowie*

what would you sell if you needed money for whiskey

I know it’s a thing, but it ain’t anything like that dude. It’s either I have the money for extra things such as that, or I don’t.

do your parents help you at all?

Yes, but my employment is definitely a big help. Of course the idea is to eventually within maybe a year or so be supporting myself much more if not fully, but I’m fortunate enough to know that if really need be, they would have my back.

do you work? how do you pay your rent? isn't it expensive living in nyc? i can't imagine what it would be like for a college student

It’s horribly expensive. One of the most expensive places by far actually. Yes, I work. A fuckin lot actually.